I hope you all are in the best of your spirits and in bliss. Before I answer the `Why`, I want to answer what spirituality means to me. Initially, when I started, it was all about clearing my mind so that when I focus on things, I am not distracted. Moving ahead, it was a way to relieve the emotional pain I was going through and now it is about more and more listening to my intuition. Intuition seems to be a very psychic thing but it is as simple as listening to your soul. I will mention again it’s listening to your soul, not your logical mind.
The best thing is we all can and we all do hear our soul voice every single time. But we don’t value it or act on it because we are clouded by our past experiences, the conditioning, the chase for acceptance, and the fear of rejection or abandonment. When we start following spiritual practices deeper and deeper, we start to clear these clouds slowly and steadily. Even a few months back, I used to doubt every thought I had and every person around me and thus kept juggling a lot. My Guru Ji used to tell me that only when you juggle and swing like a pendulum, you will reach a point of stability. If you notice a pendulum, it starts with very high oscillations and in due course of time, it becomes stationary in its centre. So fear not my dear, if you juggling and not listening to what is that you actually want or should do. Believe me, it’s part of the process and you will be through it when you walk this path. It’s a journey, not a destination.
When I started my journey, I used to be a person – who says yes to almost everything, nice and sweet. Shouldn’t everyone be like this? Maybe! But what was it costing me? I used to be guilty when I was not listening to what I truly wanted, I used to be guilty when I was doing my thing and others were getting hurt in that process, every time I was just seeking approval and validation from the people around me and getting hurt over and over again in that process. Chasing one idea after another, thinking this will bring me fulfilment and make me alive. And none of it did. It was soul-crunching.
When I moved ahead in this journey, more and more episodes starts happening in my life leading to more hurts. I used to feel, that even though I am meditating so much why everything is still so disturbing in my outer reality?? I used to think that maybe it means I am a bad person or I am hurting people around me and that’s why this is happening to me. It hardly used to make sense. As I went deeper, I recently came across these fundamentals:
So now when I connect dots, I realise, that when I start meditating, my outer life started showing me more hurts and upsets and they keep repeating until I started healing them. All these realisations, don’t just happen overnight and I am sure most of you won’t be able to resonate or connect or believe this. Because it comes with real-life experience of it and with the help of a guru. When you start walking this path or set your intention that you want to walk this path, you will surely meet the Guru, who will take you to another level every single time.
Most of you must be saying we are good the way we are and we do not see any point in traveling in the past rather than being in the present moment or planning for the future. Well, we have been listening to this all our lives, be in the moment, enjoy this moment, and live your life. But answer these simple questions – how many times are you in the present moment? how are you dealing with situations when you are hurt – are you gossiping with a friend about it, or just ignoring it and focussing on the task at hand, or worst trying to forget it by indulging in some addiction or end up making wrong choices for yourself? and are these hurts happening with you over and over again – failed or dysfunctional relationships, finding that your job is not good, finding yourself alone when you really needed someone, being cheated or lied upon, or anything else? If anyone of these is happening with you, it means it is going to keep happening in the future as well. It is similar to hiding the garbage behind the curtains. Hiding it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Maybe it’s not time for all of you to start cleaning this garbage and that’s totally alright. You do it when you do it. But the whole purpose of your birth is to clear this baggage, if you don’t do it in this lifetime, you keep repeating it until you do.
Coming to the point, this is what started happening, when I started aligning with myself. Instead of being blocked in anything I try, I was seeing more synchronicities. Whatever I was doing, I was receiving help and support. One day I was thinking, I need to start working on my fitness again and a few hours later, one of the Gurus shared about the daily fitness group she just started. One day, I was driving, my car just stopped in the middle of the road and a bus was about to hit it. Suddenly without me doing anything and there was no elevation also, my car just automatically pulled back. It was miraculous. I have 4 yr old daughter, who really needs someone to play with her, and I being engaged in my stuff couldn’t find the proper energy to be with her. I asked for support from the Divine, and 2 days later, we got a full-time maid who takes care of her as well as plays with her. In ways more than I can describe here, I feel every moment that I am guided, supported, and protected. When I find myself surrounded by sadness or pain or anger or fear or guilt, I am pulled out of it in no time and brought to a state of joy, bliss, and fullness. The situations or people that were bringing the low vibrational energy in my system started to move out of my life on their own or the situations started to decrease. This is what keeps me going every single time.
So if you are up for more bliss, joy, and fullness in your life, here is what you can start. If you do not have any Spiritual guru yet in your life, start with meditation at least 10m a day and gradually increase the time. Basic meditation is about focusing on breathing. Ask the Divine or the higher power in whatever form you believe, to bestow you with the most awesome gift of a Spiritual Guru in your life. Remember “You shall Ask and Asking is Yours”. Once you have the Guru, you are on rocket speed in this journey. Something that would have taken decades, might now happen in months or 1-2 years.
Sometimes our logical minds create blocks for things we dearly want in life. So, open up yourself to things that you believed never existed, open up to explore and learn more and you will be fascinated every single time. Be ready for major shifts in your life and being.
Spending time on your own by indulging in journal writing, meditating, exercising, or spending time in nature will always help you in this journey. So all the very best to those who are on this journey or starting this journey. May God’s light and love reach you whenever you need it.
Before I wind up, I want to send my gratitude to the Divine, my Guru Jis – Shri Prabhat Aggarwal Ji, Yogi Param Jnana Ji, and Yogi Ritu Om Ji and to my parents for their love, nourishment, and unending support. A special thanks to my brother for pushing me on this journey. A lot of gratitude to all those souls who triggered me at the right time and showed me the mirror. Lastly, I wouldn’t have been where I am right now, none of this was possible, I would have never had enough drive to walk through this if you were not with me and for me. Thank you so much for your unending love and support in ways even you don’t know. What kept me going is the freshness of the love I experienced with you every time I leveled up. Love you Kanaya always and forever!!!