You are amazing and inspiring. The devotion that runs through you is commendable. I remember a few words of a Hindi song here, which I would dedicate to my Maa and all the mothers out there, Na kuch poocha… na kuch manga… tune dil se diya jo diya… tujh mein rabb dikhta hai… maa main kya karun…
I have seen my mother is always available for the needs of the family, putting everyone first and with undying devotion. But it pains my heart today to see how she left herself behind every single day to the point where she now doesn’t even know what makes her happy. This question is absurd to her and the answers she gives are even weirder. “I am happy in your happiness”, “If everyone is healthy I am happy”, and “When you get success, I am happy”. Maa, but again what makes you happy that’s related just to you?? I am a mother myself and definitely, my girl’s happiness, smile, free-spirited living, bold and authentic expression totally make me happy. But I also know what makes me happy beyond her. But why this question is a mystery for my mom or so many moms out there??
I have seen my Maa struggling with challenges, year after year, and every time she had the same outlook, once this challenge is resolved she will be fine. Every challenge increases her endurance, and stability as well as sharperned her intuition. Initially, when she used to stop me from doing something, I used to feel controlled. As time went by, I started feeling how come she is always right, or is she putting that belief in my head and I am just projecting it into reality. Lately, I have realised that because she is so emotionally attached to me as well as other family members, her intuition is so strong and she can feel it outright if something is not right or is going to impact me bad. What a fool I was! Now that I have started being in higher frequencies, gladly her intuition started to shift as well. So a general rule of thumb, if your mother is stopping you from something, hold on. Rather than fighting back or ignoring, heed her advice, accept it and work on yourself till her intuition starts to shift.
After so many years of protection, care, nurturing, and love from her, I realise I have never done anything for her and I also feel, I don’t know what can I actually do for her. That’s where I randomly started asking her “What makes you happy?”. And I got the same answer every single time… if you are happy, I am happy. I told her I am happy but what is that exclusive to you that makes you happy? I even tried pushing her saying you are so talented, are you interested in starting this or doing that? But same old resistance. I now realise she has no answer for it :(. After years of selfless service to others, she forgot what makes her happy and this is painful.
So, today I urge all the mothers including mine out there, to pls ask this question every single day until you hear the answer back – “What makes me happy?”. I request you to re-find yourself, to use your intuition for yourself, and find your inner truth. You have served enough, you have given enough, it’s time to love yourself. You should be happy and it’s no crime. You can do your own thing and it’s no crime. You can receive love freely and it’s no crime. You can say it loud you need rest and it’s no crime. You can say you want to party or visit this place or be in solitude or be on a solo trip or have friends and it’s no crime. Be you, be free and fly away at least once for yourself in this lifetime.
A very beautiful woman in my life once told me we should keep changing our profile pictures, we never know, when we are stuck in one picture and a garland on top of it. So it’s not just one role you can play in this life, you can play many – that intuition and that power is within you. You shall ask and asking is yours. If this blog sparks a light inside you for yourself or for your mother to start this voyage of self-love, it’s worth it. Lots of love to all the mothers out there.