Yet another time I am here to share my healing experience. Blessed being on a spiritual journey, I am now aware that everything outside is a reflection of the inside. Recently, I realized that because of this wisdom, when I enter a negative experience, rather than reacting to it, I connect with myself and find the trigger to heal. I am taking this moment to acknowledge my growth and express gratitude to the Divine for all the blessings It is sending my way.
Recently when I was getting criticized, I chose not to react or explain myself but to heal myself. I sat with my soul-sister, trying to understand what triggered me – was it the criticism, or was it the projected hate, or was it the judgment, or the blaming? The statement that kept popping up in my mind is why I am being seen as a negative (dominating, demon-like) person, and all the good that I have ever done is dumped in the garbage and never considered in weighing my personality. It was damn painful.
Now that I have identified what I felt (which is misjudged), I sat to heal the trigger. Initially, it was painful, I was getting attached to all the past scenes where I was misjudged and I kept asking why I am seen as a negative person in almost all relationships I have. What have I done so wrong? I asked divine show me what you want me to learn from all these experiences. In the first phase, I couldn’t see as I was brimming with the pain I was feeling. But as we moved to the second phase of it – where I negatively judged people based on my previous experience with them, I started to see what was happening. Then comes the third phase – where I had negatively judged myself. It just blew my mind off. Countless times consciously-unconsciously I have made negative statements about myself or others. Before starting something new, I affirmed to myself “I won’t be able to do it”, “I will end up not finishing this”, “I am lazy”, “She always says mean things”, or “He is under jealously again”. It’s like I have a set of Filters that I use before entering in any interaction. I strongly realized we as humans perceive others and ourselves through filters. We make these filters through the experiences we had in the past or what we heard from someone we trust. And I feel creating filters is our base protection mechanism to save ourselves from negative experiences. If we know putting a finger in fire is going to hurt, we won’t end up hurting ourselves and will be protective of how we are going to behave around fire. Similarly, in our relationships, we use these filters to make new friends or let go of someone toxic.
But there is one underlining factor we are forgetting – “Change is the only constant”. We change, people around us change, and situations/scenarios change, but sadly, we forget to change our filters. How about I wake up one morning and I can tell myself – “Yashika, let’s put this filter about being lazy aside, see how the day goes, and at the end of the day I will probably have a new filter for me”. Every day is a choice and it’s so powerful. I can be what I want to be, and not just what I think I am right now. Similarly, in all the conversations, I can choose to have no filter for some time, and by the end of the conversation, I will have an upgraded filter. My friends, the upgraded filter could be worse than what you had before, but the next time we encounter it, we have yet another choice to either keep or leave the filter.
Yes, it’s hard and this will need me to be conscious of the choices I am making throughout the day. But I am sure it will come with time. I can start with myself – dropping my old self-filters and creating new ones – acknowledging the growth I have made and this is an act of self-love and gratitude too. So 3 birds with one arrow :). The next level could be – upgrading filters for others around me and one day may be having no filter at all. I believe in the butterfly effect – change in one part of the universe reverberates to the whole of it and I am sure sooner or later, filters that others have for me will be upgraded too.
That is all for my experience. Now you can contemplate, what filters do you have in your life? Are they working for you? Is it time to upgrade them? If this blog post gives you a breakthrough and you feel compelled to share, then please share your experience in comments below.
Before I wind up, I want to send my gratitude to the Divine, my Gurus – Maha-Guru Yogi Buddhadev, Shri Prabhat Aggarwal Ji, Yogi Param Jnana Ji, and Yogi Ritu Om Ji and to my parents for their love, nourishment, and unending support. A lot of gratitude to my soul sisters for their support and encouragement in my growth and expression. Love you ladies and I bow to your magnificence. Keep rocking the world. Lastly, thank you from the bottom of my heart, to all the souls that played crucial role in my journey by giving me triggers and mirroring me for my growth. 🙏🙏🙏
